Three of the
most difficult words any manager or team member can hear from an employee
or peer are “I don’t care.”
Have you ever thought about what those three simple words really mean?
Is there a hidden message, and what could it be?
Of course, the message is often clear, but the words, “I don’t
care,” go unspoken. But oh, you get the message sure enough.
So the question is, how do you get someone to care? Care about anything—getting
to work on time, using safe practices, doing quality work, building
an effective team, a specific project or assignment, and on and on.
Further consideration of the words “care” and “caring”
provide interesting insight into how the words are defined and how we
really use these words in our everyday language.
What do “care” and “caring”
mean?
According to Webster, “care” can be defined as a disquieted
state of blended uncertainty, apprehension and responsibility, while
“caring” is to feel trouble or anxiety, interest or concern,
to have an inclination.
Generally, when we say an individual doesn’t care, we are really
saying that they are indifferent. If I don’t care, I have no emotional
investment one way or the other, so I have no feelings for success or
failure.
The definitions imply that for someone to care, there should be a potential
for negative emotions, and even stress, when things don’t turn
out as planned—you are distressed over a negative outcome.
As employers, supervisors and teammates, this is what you want—someone
who will invest their emotions into the process or activity. You want
them to work hard to achieve a positive outcome and lament failure.
In short, you want them to care!
One thing I have discovered over the years is this: You can’t
make someone care! You can threaten, make them afraid, offer rewards,
make them happy, or make them angry, bur you can’t force them
to care.
8 Factors to Consider
1 We usually want people to care
about the same things that we care about, and we have a hard time understanding
when they don’t. Use an open dialog to express why you feel something
is important and ask the other individual for their opinion. Don’t
judge their view or perspective, but work toward a point of consensus.
2 Caring can often be about control—those
who want it and those who don’t want to give it up. Working together
to set goals and objectives can eliminate the “I won’t care
about what you care about” scenario.
3 When you have specific tasks
to accomplish, obtain buy-in from those involved by discussing why the
task is important, who has directed the task and how it would be best
achieved. Be open about those things that are given (budget, timeframe,
location) and those things that can be negotiated (who works on the
project, opportunities, team leadership). Accept the things that can’t
be changed and agree to focus on the things that can.
4 Share and understand the consequences
and rewards involved. Demonstrate how the task will affect each individual
personally and professionally. There are real consequences to failure
(loss of pay, demotion, termination) and success (bonus, raises, promotion),
so be brutally honest when presenting them to the group.
5 Clearly communicate goals,
visions and objectives. People won’t generally care about things
they don’t understand.
6 Caring can be influenced by
group norms. Individual members of a group will often conform to the
group mentality or social influence. If a group demonstrates a strong
positive attitude, commitment and responsibility, its individual members
will generally learn to demonstrate these same behaviors. Consider putting
uncaring individuals on strong, dynamic teams. But beware the old adage,
“a rotten apple can ruin the whole barrel.”
7 Try to prevent “us vs.
them” situations as much as possible. Extreme conformity can lead
to groupthink, where members abandon all efforts to think for themselves
or to question the wisdom of the group. Discuss and debate, but when
the decision is make, form a consensus and focus your energy and efforts
on the objective.
8 Avoid the “it’s
my way or the highway” speech. Use good leadership skills to influence
the attitudes of those that don’t care. Demonstrate that when
you care, you can.
